Giving Thanks

Dear Reader,

We’re quickly approaching Thanksgiving Day - that time of year in which, via a national holiday, we’re reminded of the value of gratitude.

But what about The Power of Gratitude - The Power of Giving Thanks. Not just on Thanksgiving - but every day of our lives.

Recently I was listening to a conversation between two American women. One was telling the other about doing a Gratitude visualization or meditation each day.

“I have a friend back home who has been doing this every night for the past few weeks,” she said. “And the positive things coming her way are nothing short of miraculous.”

I don’t doubt this woman’s story for a single moment.

When you express gratitude for what you have - and really, really mean it, the energy from this helps to increase the flow of good into your life. Nature favorably responds to those who recall, remember and re-celebrate the good things in life.

There are always more good things than you can imagine - but most people rarely give any thought to what is working, what is good and what worked in the past.

If you want to get yourself into a truly positive frame of mind, sit in a chair and mentally picture everything in your life that you are truly grateful for.

Your body.
Your health.
Your friends and/or family.
Your home.
Your clothes.
Your food.
Your water.
Your transportation.
Your library.
And so on.

If you really take some time to honestly evaluate all the good out there and in there - it’s not possible for this exercise to last less than 15 minutes.

I am reminded of the young lady, Teresa, whom I trained many years ago when I had a personal training studio in California.

Teresa was a knockout. A perfect 10 by most peoples’ standards.  Long blonde hair, stunning blue eyes, long slender legs - and so on.

Yet, she didn’t see anything good about how she looked. When I asked her what she was thankful for about her body and looks, she immediately began attacking herself with her index finger.

“I have this mole on my face. And I have this spot on my neck.  And my skin is too dry. And my hair doesn’t set right - and I’m just getting warmed up here,” she said. “I can go on and
on. Are you sure you want me to continue.”

“You’ve had a lot of practice with this fault finding, haven’t you,” I said. “And do you realize you have not answered my question. I asked what you were thankful for - not your long list of flaws and faults.”

“Well I cannot give you anything on that list,” she said.

“Really,” I said. “Well, let me get clarity on this. Do you like your legs.”

“No, I hate my legs.”

“So you’d rather have them amputated. You’d rather go without.”

“NO,” I wouldn’t want that.

“Okay, so you are somewhat grateful for your legs then.”

“Yes.”

“Alright, how about your arms.”

“Oh gawd, I hate my arms.”

“So you want them removed, too,” I said.

“No.”

“You mean you want to keep them. Well, if that’s the case, you must be glad to have them.”

“And how about the skin on your face - should I have that removed for you as well.”

“That would be scary.”

“Okay, so you want to keep your face, moles and all,” I said.

“Yes.”

“And what about that hair. Why don’t we shave it all off,” I smiled.

“No way. I wouldn’t want to be bald.”

“Oh, so you do like your hair.”

“Compared to being bald, yes.”

“I’m the exact opposite,” I said. “I’m so grateful I lost part of my hair that I removed what was left. Not only that, I really, really like my cauliflower ears. They’re big and gnarly, but
man they are cool. I consider them a trademark for a job well done.”

She began to laugh.

By the time we finished Teresa had a much deeper appreciation of her body than any other time in her life.

But that was only one day of gratitude. It wasn’t yet a habit.  If she reviewed the list each day for a month, it would take hold of her and improve her life in seen and unseen ways.

You may not think this is so. You may think what I’m saying is some sort of mystical or esoteric teaching. If you think such a thing, you may be surprised to discover that the above is a  very basic and fundamental truth. But you cannot and will not discover it unless you apply it.

Start your gratitude visualization today. Carry it out again during Thanksgiving - and afterward. Give yourself 30 days - minimum - and if you don’t notice any improvement - then delete this email - which was sent to you at no charge.

That’s it for today’s tip - which I’m giving to you in a state of gratitude to thank you for being on this earthly journey with me.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Matt Furey

“It doesn’t matter which side of the fence you get off on sometimes. What matters most is getting off. You cannot make progress without making decisions.”

Jim Rohn
Author and Speaker

“In times of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.”  Eric Hoffer

Dear Reader,

Contrary to popular belief, there is no such thing as an educated person. You are either learning or you are not. In today’s world, it is vitally important that you see the truth in Eric Hoffer’s statement. The win or loss, which is waiting in the wings for every person, is enormous. You get to choose which you will experience.

Examine what Mr. Hoffer said. There are two obvious parts to his statement. The first part is very clear; how well it is understood is another subject.

“The learners will inherit the earth.”

That’s pretty straightforward. I want to come back and elaborate on that statement because it is exciting, full of promise and possibility. However it would probably be wise to look at the second part of his advice first. Then, if you happen to fall into the category Eric Hoffer referred to, you can change your situation and win.

“The learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.”

In virtually every country of the world you can find individuals, thousands of them, walking the streets with degrees in their hands…degrees from prestigious universities. They cannot find work. Why? These individuals view the conditions and circumstances that surround them as very frightening. They are the people who Eric Hoffer referred to who “are beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.”

Look around, the world is definitely changing, and it will never be the same again. Power is slipping away, disappearing from some circles, and reappearing in others. Countries, companies and individuals who have held the power in the past are quickly losing it, if in fact, they have not already watched it melt in their hands. Their often smug, sometimes selfish, domineering, complacent attitude has cost them dearly. They are confused and this confusion is frequently fueled by their own ignorance. When that happens it ultimately leads to anger or resentment - sometimes both. This negative energy is then quite frequently misdirected, possibly at their loved ones, which then causes an entirely new set of problems.

These people are clutched by an unseen enemy and their frustration is endless because they are not sure what has happened or what is happening. Their world seems to be turning upside down.

The entire world is in the midst of a paradigm shift, which is unprecedented. There have been transitions in the past but nothing to equal what we are presently experiencing. The world is moving from an intellectual to a spiritual vibration. The rules for winning have changed dramatically and the majority of the populations are still living with the old rules. There are an enormous number of people in every community who have worked hard and disciplined themselves to follow the only rules they know…still they are losing. They are bewildered, confused and in many cases, angry and most feel their anger is justified, whether it is or not matters little. They are doing what they were taught by their parents, teachers, and employers. Unfortunately they too, were working with the old rules.

In the past, individuals were recognized and rewarded for what they knew. Corporations waited on the sidelines dangling monetary rewards attempting to attract the graduates from the big name universities of the world. There were the multi-million dollar MBA management development programs that corporations placed their hope in for years. Most everyone was conditioned to deify the intellect. Individuals were not properly recognized and rewarded for what they did.

Rather than focusing on what is or was wrong, we should let it go. Let the dead bury the dead. The world I grew up in is gone, forever. The world has changed. We live in the new era. This is a spiritual world governed by exact laws. Everyone who studies these laws and incorporates them into every aspect of their life will be richly rewarded. I believe we would be wise to go back to the promise Eric Hoffer shared, “In times of change, the learners inherit the earth.”

The learners are continually preparing themselves to adapt to the changes. Rather than reacting they are responding to these changes and they are responding in an appropriate manner. The learners are excited with the prospects of what this paradigm shift is bringing.

Bob Proctor

Dear Reader,

The greatest stumbling block to achieving anything of importance in your life is circumstances. We let circumstances get us off the hook when we should be giving it everything we’ve got. More dreams are shattered and goals lost because of circumstances than any other single factor.
How often have you caught yourself saying, “I would like to do or have this but I can’t because…?” Whatever follows “because” is the circumstance.

Successful people use circumstances to catapult them on toward their goal, while the masses use them as road blocks. A circumstance may cause a detour in your life but you should never permit it to stop you.

George Bernard Shaw is quoted as saying, “People are always blaming circumstance for what they are. I do not believe in circumstance. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstance they want and if they can’t find them they make them.”

Napoleon said, “Circumstances hell, I make them.”

The next time you hear someone say they would like to vacation in Paris, or purchase a particular automobile but they can’t because they have no money. Tell them they don’t need any money, your reward will probably be a blank stare followed with, “What do you mean I don’t need any money?”

Explain they don’t need the money until they make a decision to go to Paris or purchase the car. When the decision is made, they will figure out a way to get the amount needed. They always do.

The circumstance they are using is one of the most common: a lack of money. The real cause of their problem is lack of decision. You always attract what you need when you decide it must be done. Try this yourself today. You know the task you have been putting off “because…” Make a decision, forget the circumstance or adopt Shaw’s theory, but get it done!

Bob Proctor

 Dear Reader,

The very worst use of time is to stay at a job for months and years for which you are completely unsuited.

There are a great number of people who spend their whole lives doing something they don’t enjoy during the week, always looking forward to the weekends. They refer to Monday as “Blue Monday” and to Wednesday as “Hump Day.” At the end of the week, they say “Thank God It’s Friday!”

These are men and women with very little in the way of a future. They look upon their jobs as a form of drudgery, a penance they have to pay in order to enjoy their free time. And because of this attitude, they will seldom advance or be promoted.

They will stay pretty much where they are, moving from job to job, and always wondering why other people seem to be living the good life while they feel like they are living a life of quiet desperation.

At my seminars, I am frequently asked by people what they can do to be more successful. In almost every case, they are working in jobs they don’t like, for bosses they don’t particularly respect, producing or selling products or services for customers they don’t care about. And many of them think that if they just hang in there long enough, the clouds will part and everything will get better for them.

But the fact is that you are where you are and what you are because that’s what you have chosen. You can do amazing things with your life, but nobody else can change your situation for you. It’s entirely up to you.

The economic function of your company is to hire people at the very lowest cost so that they can serve customers at the very lowest cost in a competitive market. For this reason, no one has any obligation to pay you any more than you are getting. If possible, they would like to pay you less.

One thing I tell people over and over again is that they must become very good at doing what they are doing if they want to move up in their company. And if they don’t have the inner desire to be very good at their job, it means they are probably in the wrong one.

Excellence is like a ladder, and excellent performance at your current job is like the rungs on the ladder. In order for you to progress, you must become extremely good at what you are doing right now. Once you have mastered your current job, you will automatically move up to more difficult, more interesting, and higher-paid jobs.

Too many people do their jobs in an average or mediocre fashion, with the idea that, when the right job comes along, then they will really do a good job. But for some reason, the right job never comes along. They are always passed over for promotions and advancement. They are always the last ones hired and the first ones laid off.

So be perfectly honest with yourself. Look deep inside and decide what it is you would like to do if you only had six months left to live. What would you choose to do if you won a million dollars in the lottery tomorrow? What sort of work would you do if you were absolutely guaranteed of success in any one field? If you had no limits on your abilities and opportunities - no debts, no problems, no commitments - what would be your ideal job or career?

Research shows that the things people liked to do best between the ages of 7 and 14 were a very good indicator of what they would be most successful at as adults.

A man at one of my seminars told me that when he was between the ages of 7 and 14 he loved to build model airplanes. He built more and more complicated planes, and then built them with engines and flew them in contests.

Today, he is 35 years old. He has a degree in aeronautical engineering. He designs small aircraft. In addition, he owns an aircraft maintenance company and an air charter firm. He is a multi-millionaire, and he feels like he has never worked a day in his life. He has always done what he loved to do and most enjoyed from the time he was a little boy.

If you’re not sure about your true calling, ask the people closest to you. Ask them, “What do you think I would be the very best at doing with my life?” It is amazing how people around you - including your spouse, your best friends, and your parents - can see clearly what you should be doing when often you cannot see it yourself.

Project yourself forward five years, and imagine that your entire life is perfect in every respect. Imagine that you are doing exactly the right job for you, in exactly the right place, with exactly the right people, and earning exactly the amount you want to earn.

What would that look like? Where would you be, and what would you be doing? Who would you be with, and how would you have changed?

When you have that picture in your head, think about the steps you would have to take to get from where you are today to where you want to be in five years. What skills would you have to develop? What information would you have to acquire? What obstacles would you have to overcome?

Success comes from being excellent at what you do. The market pays excellent rewards only for excellent performance. It pays average rewards for average performance, and below-average rewards for below-average performance.

But excellence is a journey, not a destination. You never quite get there. You can never relax. The market is always changing, so what constitutes excellence today will be different tomorrow and very different next year and every year thereafter.

All really successful and happy people know in their hearts that they are very good at what they do. And if you are doing what you really love and enjoy, if you are following your true calling, you will know it too.

By Brian Tracy

Dear Reader,

Some time ago I did a show on Habits. They play an important role in your life. Like many aspects of your life, habits can be considered both a blessing and a curse. Robert Russell in his magnificent little book “You Try It” wrote that habit was God’s way of making good automatic in your life.

I had a wonderful friend in Atlanta, the late Dr. Jay Dishman, who wrote an excellent article about habit in his monthly newsletter dated February 1985. I have shared Dr. Dishman’s article with thousands of people around the world. Today I want to share it with you. Here goes!

“Recently I visited Alcatraz Prison. Once it housed the most hardened of criminals. Today it is open to tourists under the direction of the United States Parks Department. Many men have tried to escape Alcatraz; no one is known to have succeeded. As I listened to the tour guide explain the impossibility of escape, I thought of other prisons equally confining but where the doors are never locked, no guards walk the halls, and escape is encouraged and possible. That prison is Habit.”

Our habit is thinking about ourselves and our environment as a jail or a paradise. We need but to look around us to see people who are rich emotionally and materially because they think and feel rich. We also see people who are laden with emotional and material debt because they think lack. Some are inspired with vision, others are encumbered with doubt. Some are moved by ambition, others feel safer in monotony. Some reach for the mountain tops, others huddle in the pits. Some seek opportunity, others wait for it to knock. The sad fact is that more people are confined by their thoughts than are fed by them.

Negative thinking shuts us in a prison, but there is a way out. The apostle Paul said, “Be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” Paul knew a lot about prisons, both physical and mental. You renew your life by renewing your mind. You renew your mind when you change your habit of thinking.

Dr. Jay Dishman helped thousands change their habit of thinking in his lifetime. Now hopefully he has helped you.

Bob Proctor

Dear Reader,

In celebration of the United States’ Independence, we bring you this true story of five men who broke through their terror barrier and made a commitment to something huge.

The thirteen colonies (what would become the United States) were being taxed unfairly under Great Britain’s rule. Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Robert R. Livingston and Roger Sherman were the five men that stood up for the Colonist’s rights. They argued that Great Britain had no jurisdiction to tax the Colonies.

While all of the other Colonists felt that they were being treated unfairly, none of them were willing to say so, as their allegiance was still with the King of Great Britain. It was up to these five men to push for the rights of the Colonists. They met at the Virginia Convention and then again in Williamsburg to declare the Colonies independent. John Adams stood up for the resolution that: “these United Colonies are, and of right ought to be, free and independent states that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain is, and ought to be, totally dissolved.

When these five men met to draft the Declaration of Independence, there was no working process. They did not have someone to lead the meeting, take minutes or even guide them as to how the ideas should be presented. They were on their own to take control and put all of their thoughts into an organized form that could be presented to Congress. The committee decided on a general outline that the document needed to follow, and then appointed Thomas Jefferson to write the first draft. The weight of the 13 Colonies’ independence now rested on Jefferson’s shoulders. Jefferson only had 17 days to finish the first draft. He then got comments and revisions from the other committee members and wrote a second draft. The document titled “A Declaration by the Representatives of the United States of America, in General Congress Assembled” was presented to Congress on June 28, 1776.

These men knew that what was put on this paper could have cost them their lives, did they not receive backup from Congress and the other Colonists. If the King of Great Britain wanted to, he could have had these men executed for encouraging the Colonists to go against his rule. They put themselves on the line in order to gain freedom for the rest of the Colonies.

On July 2, 1776 Congress and 12 of the 13 colonies approved General Lee’s Resolution for Independence, severing ties between the Colonies and Great Britain for good. The next day, John Adams wrote a letter to his wife predicting that July 2nd would soon become a great American holiday. Congress then began to look at the Declaration of Independence. After several days of debating, word changing, and some content adjustment, Congress approved the document on July 4, 1776.

Today America celebrates 232 years of independence and freedom. Because these men did not let fear stand in their way, because they did not hesitate to make the right choice, American Citizens now have the right to vote, the right to free speech, the right to practice any religion, the right to a fair trial, just to name a few.

Paul Martinelli

Editor’s Note:  Are you ready to stand tall for your financial freedom?

By Michael Masterson

“I don’t dance,” Jane said to her cousin Ray as they watched an older couple dance at the wedding. “I’ve got two left feet. It’s just too embarrassing.”

“I used to be terrible,” Ray said. “But then I took some lessons.”

“I couldn’t even take lessons,” Jane said. “I’d be embarrassed to have the teacher see how bad I am.”

“I know what you mean,” Ray said. “I feel that way about golf.”

I used to feel that way about public speaking. I dreaded the thought of it. And when I was forced to make a speech, I did a terrible job - which only made me dread the next speech even more. It was a vicious cycle.

Then, in the early 1980s, I became editorial director of a newsletter business in South Florida. And suddenly, instead of just sitting behind a desk all day, I found myself in a position where I had to conduct meetings and give presentations at industry functions on a fairly regular basis - something I was ill-prepared to do. So I decided to enroll in a Dale Carnegie program for public speaking.

Somehow, I registered in the wrong course. Instead of focusing on speechmaking, it had a broader goal. And, as I’ve explained before in ETR, that program changed my life. It taught me the importance of goal setting and taking action. But it also, inadvertently, taught me to be more comfortable as a speaker.

My speechmaking skills improved almost accidentally. Every week, we had to read a chapter of Carnegie’s classic book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, and then come to class and make a two-minute presentation about how we were going to put the principle of that chapter to work in our lives.

On Thursday evenings after work, I would drive a half-hour to the place where we met. During that drive, I thought about what I was going to say. It was difficult in the beginning, but each week it got a little easier.

By the end of the 14-week course, I was performing at a near-professional level. I had won several awards in competition, and was routinely rated at the top of the class. The final session was a sort of commencement ceremony. Relatives and friends were allowed to attend, which tripled the size of the audience we had to speak to. Everyone did pretty well, as I remember. I gave the last speech. I was still a little nervous when I got up to the podium, but I had learned a lot by then. So I took a deep breath and did my thing.

I got a strong round of applause. Several people I didn’t even know came up to congratulate me, and one suggested I should become a comedian. I wasn’t foolish enough to take his advice to heart, but it did make me happy to think that I had made so much progress in so little time, starting from practically zero.

How did I conquer my fear of public speaking? The same way that you conquer the fear of anything else.

So… What Are You Afraid Of?

There are entire systems of psychotherapy devoted to curing people of their fears. The most effective are those that gradually expose the phobic person to whatever it is that they’re afraid of. If you feared snakes, for example, the treatment might begin with looking at photographs of snakes. Then, once you were comfortable with that, you might move on to watching videotapes of snakes. And then on to looking at snakes in cages… and then looking at them uncaged but at a distance… and then, gradually, getting closer until you could actually handle them without emotional discomfort.

Likewise, if you were afraid of public speaking the therapy would be to make a very short speech in front of a very small audience and then to gradually expose yourself to longer speeches and bigger audiences until you were comfortable speaking for an hour or more in front of a large number of people.

That was what happened to me. The Dale Carnegie course I took turned out to be a therapeutic program of graduated exposure therapy to public speaking.

Fears of specific things - snakes, public speaking, flying, etc. - can be overcome with gradual exposure. But what about more general fears… like the fear of failing?

To answer that question, we’ve got to figure out what, exactly, we are afraid of when we say we are afraid of failing.

Imagine that you are alone in a quiet room trying to solve a difficult crossword puzzle. You can’t do it.

How do you feel?

Now imagine yourself competing in a national crossword puzzle championship. It is down to four finalists - you and three others. The four of you are standing up on a stage in front of large puzzles with markers in your hand. Six hundred people in the audience and millions more on TV are watching you. The timekeeper gives the signal and you are off, filling out the answers as fast as you can. Before you have finished one-sixth of your puzzle, the first winner is declared. Before you have finished a quarter of it, the second winner is rung in. Now it is just you and one opponent. You are halfway done and feeling hopeful. Then you hear the buzzer. He has finished well ahead of you. You are standing there with your marker in your hand. The other three contestants are smiling.

How do you feel this time?

When I tried this little experiment, I had two distinctly different emotions. Imagining the first scenario made me feel a little angry. Imagining the second one made me feel embarrassed.

In the first scenario, I am just an ordinary puzzle player playing an ordinary game. I fail to accomplish my goal, but I am not embarrassed. In the second scenario, I am a national-caliber puzzle solver. I fail… but in front of a large audience. This adds shame to my anger. And that feels much worse.

So perhaps we can say this about the fear of failing: A big part of what we are afraid of is embarrassment - being shamed in front of other people.

Humiliation and Humility

When embarrassment is extreme, we call it humiliation. If you pass gas at a fancy dinner party, you feel embarrassed. If you spill wine on your hostess’s designer dress, you feel humiliated.

Humiliation is what happens to embarrassment when it is mixed with pride. The prouder you are, the more failure hurts.

Which brings us to our cure for the fear of failure: humility.

I’m guilty of pride myself. I’m proud of my writing, for example, and the success I’ve had in business. So I have to keep reminding myself to be humble about those things. But I am not proud of everything I do. I take no pride in my ability to dance or to sing or to speak foreign languages because I do those things so badly. And because my ego isn’t involved, I am not embarrassed to ask stupid questions, to show myself as a beginner, and ultimately to fail again and again as I attempt to master those skills.

The truth is, when I started out in business I wasn’t very good at that either. Again, that made it possible for me to ask lots of questions, look stupid, and make mistakes… which accelerated my learning curve.

The Secret of Accelerated Failure

That last observation bring us to an important principle of success. At ETR, we call it “the secret of accelerated failure.”

The principle of accelerated failure is this: To develop any complex skill, you must be willing to make mistakes and endure failures. The faster you can make those mistakes and suffer those failures, the quicker you will master the skill.

We teach this secret to our managers. We encourage them to allow their employees to fail. Not to fail stupidly. Not to make the same mistakes over and over again. But to feel free to fail at something so long as it was done in the pursuit of knowledge.

If you play golf or practice Jiu Jitsu, you know this to be true. If you tense up and focus on not avoiding mistakes, you will learn very slowly. If you relax, let the mistakes happen, and learn from them, you will advance quickly.

It starts with being humble. Humble enough to accept the fact that when you begin anything new you are likely to do it poorly.

Humility Is Nature’s First Gift

Pride prevents us from admitting we are incompetent. But we are all incompetent when we’re learning.

Think of how a baby learns to walk. He begins by crawling and then advances to “forward falling” (as my brother calls it), and then to walking like a little drunk, and finally to walking masterfully. Babies don’t feel shame because they are not proud. There is a reason that pride does not invade the human psyche until six or seven years of age. There is simply too much to learn before then. If toddlers had pride, it would take them years or even decades to walk and talk properly.

Humility is a much underrated virtue. It provides us with at least three significant advantages:

* It makes us more endearing. Humble people - especially accomplished individuals who remain humble - are well liked.

* It makes it easier to get cooperation. Humble people get more cooperation from others because they don’t try to force strong-minded people to accept their ideas.

* It makes it easier and faster to learn. Humble people are able to ask questions, make mistakes, and experience failure without embarrassment. This attracts good people to them who want to help. Humble people get the best teachers and get the most from their teachers.

If Humility Is the Solution, How Does a Proud Person Become Humble?

Now we are coming to the most important part of this discussion - a practical plan for defeating the fear of failure. Here’s how you can do it:

1. Begin by accepting the truth. You are a good person, but that doesn’t mean you are naturally good at everything. Look in the mirror and think about the skill you want to accomplish. Say out loud, “I accept the fact that right now I am incompetent at (name the skill).” Repeat this exercise until it doesn’t hurt.

2. Admit your incompetence to an indifferent audience. Once you can say it in front of a mirror, say it in front of a living human being. Begin by admitting your incompetence to someone who doesn’t care. Admit to your Spanish teacher that you are incompetent at public speaking. Admit to your public speaking coach that you are incompetent at speaking Spanish. Repeat this exercise until you can do it with grace and good humor.
3. Admit your incompetence to a judgmental audience. Admit that you are no good at languages to your Spanish teacher. Admit that you have two left feet to your dance instructor. Do this not once, but every time you make a mistake or fail in some way. Do it with grace and good humor. As pop psychologists say, “own” the feeling.

4. Admit your incompetence to someone who can punish you. This is the ultimate test. The next time you volunteer for a difficult assignment at work, admit to your boss that you might fail before you succeed. Do it with grace and good humor and you will be amazed at the result. Your boss won’t can you on the spot. (Unless he is really incompetent.) Rather, he will admire you for your humility. After all, he knows you are not yet competent. All he wants is your commitment to carry on until you are.

At Agora Inc. and at ETR, our most productive and successful executives are very comfortable about saying, “I’m going to try such and such. I’ll probably screw it up completely. But if I eventually succeed… just think what good will come of it!”

That’s what you want for your company. That’s what you want for yourself. Defeat your fear of failure by being happy and even eager to try and fail until you finally succeed. That’s how Edison invented the light bulb. That’s how Michael Jordan, a very mediocre basketball player in high school, became the greatest hoops player of all time. They weren’t afraid of failure. You shouldn’t be either.

 Dear Reader,

Accurate analysis of over 25,000 men and women who had experienced failure, disclosed the fact that lack of decision was near the head of the list of the 30 major causes of failure. This is no mere statement of a theory - it is a fact.

Procrastination, the opposite of decision, is a common enemy which practically every man must conquer.

You will have an opportunity to test your capacity to reach quick and definite decisions when you finish reading this lesson, and are ready to begin putting into action the principles which it describes.

Analysis of several hundred people who had accumulated fortunes well beyond the million dollar mark, disclosed the fact that every one of them had the habit of reaching decisions promptly, and of changing these decisions slowly, if, and when they were changed. People who fail to accumulate money, without exception, have the habit of reaching decisions, if at all, very slowly, and of changing these decisions quickly and often.

The majority of people who fail to accumulate money sufficient for their needs, are, generally, easily influenced by the “opinions” of others. They permit the newspapers and the “gossiping” neighbors to do their “thinking” for them. “Opinions” are the cheapest commodities on earth. Everyone has a flock of opinions ready to be wished upon anyone who will accept them. If you are influenced by “opinions” when you reach decisions, you will not succeed in any undertaking, much less in that of transmuting your own desire into money.

If you are influenced by the opinions of others, you will have no desire of your own.

Napoleon Hill
From Think and Grow Rich

Dear Reader,

“How are you feeling?” asked my friendly neurosurgeon Dr. Alex Gol as I lay in my hospital bed in the rehab hospital at 3:30 P.M. after a torturous day in therapy. I could not yet utter a single word after sustaining a severe traumatic brain injury (TBI) at the age of 19. So I nodded as if to say, “OK.” Dr. Gol then calmly replied, “That’s nice,” and quickly left the room with a smile.

As he was leaving I thought to myself, “Dr. Gol…so nice…so calm…so peaceful.” I tried to reposition myself in my bed as the door closed behind him in order to get more comfortable, but something was not “right” in the hospital hallway as I heard a great commotion coming from there. (True, I could not yet speak; however, nothing was wrong with my hearing and there was plenty of screaming coming from the hall.) I wondered, “What was the problem?”

I soon found out the cause of the chaos: it was sweet, serene and calm Dr. Gol who was causing it.

As soon as he left my room he erupted: “WHO’S THE NURSE TAKING CARE OF MIKE? WHAT’S HE DOING IN BED SO EARLY? HE’S A 19 YEAR OLD VICTIM OF TBI, NOT A 95 YEAR OLD STROKE VICTIM! GET HIM OUT OF THAT BED, AND I DON’T WANT HIM BACK IN BED UNTIL HE GOES TO SLEEP!”

The nurses had never seen Dr. Gol act like that. In fact, they had never heard him raise his voice. They quickly got me out of bed and put me in my wheelchair until 9 P.M.

I was miserable. I wanted to get back into my comfortable bed - well, it was not so comfortable but it was much less uncomfortable than my wheelchair or any kind of chair, for that matter.

As I said, after therapy was over at 3 P.M. I wanted to get straight back in bed; however, throughout the following weeks and months the nurses did not want to face “the wrath of Dr. Gol.” Therefore, after therapy I remained in my wheelchair in my room until I went to sleep. Being in the wheelchair for so long was agonizing!

I hated Dr. Gol after that eventful day when he asked me that seemingly simple question while I was trying to relax in bed. However, years later I loved him as I realized Dr. Gol was only doing what was in my best interest.

When I returned to college after being out for so long, my professors, after learning what had happened to me and realizing that I could no longer read as quickly as before I was hurt, were more than happy to say, “Mike, it’s ok. Just read what you can and we’ll test you on that material.” However, one professor did not say that. Dr. Sheldon Ekland-Olson, a sociology professor, said, “Mike, I understand you have difficulty reading. I’ve had many students with many visual problems. For those students, I refer them to “Recording for the Blind.” They have access to many textbooks on cassettes. Here’s the phone number…”

I “hated” that statement as I wanted to take the “easy way out.” (My feelings of “hate” were very similar to those I had for Dr. Gol on that eventful afternoon in the hospital.) However, I have since learned that the “easy way” is quite often the “wrong way.”

Sometimes everyone needs a “push.” Even I, recently, had to be reminded to push myself as I had gotten “lazy” at the gym. However, a “stranger” reminded me to use my right hand. Even though it was difficult, I thanked him for the reminder.

I have learned that the difficult things in life are often the sweet things in life. One cannot experience “beauty” without experiencing “bitterness.” Remember, “push” yourself to “get through the thorns of the rose bush, to experience the beautiful flower of the rose.”

Every time I think of some difficult thing in life, I close my eyes, see Dr. Gol, and smile.

Michael Segal

Shot in the head during a robbery, Michael Jordan Segal defied all odds by first surviving and then returning to college. He then earned two degrees with honors, married his high school sweetheart, Sharon, and became a father to their daughter Shawn. Mike is a social worker at Memorial Hermann Hospital in Houston and an author (currently he has two book projects he’s working on: an autobiography and an anthology of his short stories). He also is a popular inspirational speaker sharing his recipe for recovery, happiness, and success. Please visit his site at: www.InspirationByMike.com